Men Banned From Hair Salons. Jealous Extremists?

So Hamas has banned men from entering women's hair salon's in Gaza. This is a response to attacks from certain groups that believe Hamas is not applying strict Islamic law in the area.  Anyone who violates the law will be arrested.

What concerns me the most is how will these mediterranean metrosexuals maintain their clean cut, charming good looks.  Now these brave men will have to anally smuggle their clippers and extra strength Nair all because a few extremists were jealous of their radiant sex appeal.

Drive-By Porno in Moscow

Last night on one of Moscow's busiest highways, drivers were treated to a two minute pornographic romp on an electronic billboard.  Drivers were so shocked they did the only reasonable thing they could think of; they captured videos and pictures of the billboard and posted them online.

Now that's multitasking!

On a side note, Russian drivers now wish they had three hands.

The Dreaded $22,000 Cell Phone Bill

Here's a quickie for the day.

A father gets a cell phone for his 13 year old son and adds him to the family plan.  Cool huh? Unfortunately the kid downloaded 1.4 million kb of data without a data plan which brought the cell phone bill up to $22k. Good thing for daddy Verizon is going to credit his account for the charges.

This just enforces my age old saying, "Parents shouldn't have cell phones."

Link:crazy bill

Ever Have Your Urine Stolen? You're Not the First.

What's with all the urine today? Seventeen urine samples were stolen from the Bear River Health Department in Utah.  Now what would someone do with all that urine? Probably use it to ensure that they will pass every drug test they take for the next few years.  Or maybe just keep it as part of a collection?

All fun suggestions but I think I know the true answer.  I think this is somehow related to Daniel Shilt's imprisonment mentioned in my previous post.  The thief or thieves probably stole the urine and will use it to stage a prison break.  The thieves will bomb the jail holding Daniel with the stolen urine, causing a slippery yellow mess that will disorient the guards.  They will also use straws to blow the urine in the eyes of the remaining guards, rendering them blind and smelly. 

After the breakout Daniel will reunite with his urine soaked friends and resume to shower the heads of officers with his stream of defiance!

Story Link: Who Steals Urine?

How to Seriously Piss Off a Cop

Usually when you drink alot you have to pee alot.  That's a scientific fact right?  Tell that to the cop who arrested poor old Daniel Shilts Jr.  Apparently Mr Shilts was arrested for drunk driving.  On his way to the station he felt mother nature calling. So Daniel did what any normal person would do, he started peeing all over the back of the cruiser and it must of been a hell of a piss because he managed to spray the back of the officer's head.

This guy did what the rest of us only dream about, relieving ourselves all over a person who has done us wrong! And hey when you really gotta go what else can you do.  We all know what it's like to have to go so badly that you can barely walk, and when you are finally able to release, the pressure of the flow is so intense that it feels like your teeth are being sucked out the bottom of your jawline.

Too bad the judge wasn't so understanding and sentenced this urine spewing hero to 1 year in prison.

Link to Story: man pees on cop

Wedding Bells For a Man and His Nintendo DS

A Japanese man known as Sal9000 in the gaming worldhas decided to do what most video game enthusiasts only dream of; marry a video game character.  Yes that's right, Sal9000 decided to marry a character from the Nintendo DS game Love Plus. This is the closest Sal has come to having sexual intercourse in his entire life.

This reminds me of the time when all of my classmates used to talk about the busty, pixel ridden beauty know as Lara Croft.  Boys used to by that game just so they could use the nudity code and stare at those flesh colored triangles all they wanted. However, once puberty was reached most of these young boys moved on to being interested in live, breathing love interests.

Sal9000 has bitch slapped all of use who once had a crush on an animated character but moved on. He decided to be a man and follow through on his desires.  After all, what is marriage really worth if you can't choose to marry fictional characters.  I for one have always had a thing for Super Mario (love rthe terrible Italian accent), maybe it's time I follow through and have the first imaginary gay wedding to a fictional character.  Unfortunately since gay marriage is such a controversial issue I may have to deny my true feelings.  After all, Mario and I wouldn't want to desecrate the sacred tradition of marriage. We'll just have to wait and see.

Story:http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/man-marries-a-videogame/1376577

Refusing to Tip Can Land You in Jail

Remember when tipping a person for providing a service was a strictly voluntary act? The amount of the tip is usually determined by the quality of the service. Unfortunately this idea no longer holds true.

A couple, Pope and John Wagner, were out with friends one night having some food and a couple of drinks.  The service was terrible so they decided to pay the bill but not to leave a tip.  When they didn't tip the bartender called the police who locked up the couple on a charge of thievery. 

I have the honor of saying this is one of the DUMBEST things I have heard in a while.  No Matter what size your group, whether it's 1 or 40, tipping should be optional.  Now you might say, "Oh but serving a big group of people is much harder and we deserve extra compensation!"  No you don't.  You have to provide good service and earn your tips, like your ancestors did.

I just can't believe the couple was actually locked up for this while other, more heinous crimes were probably being committed.  I can picture it now, as the police where throwing these two "criminals" in the back of their car a gang of circus midgets, armed with bazookas, robbed serveral banks while kicking over a stroller and stealing an elderly woman's dentures.

I just hope the cops can focus on catching the circus midgets before its too late.

Link to story: Tip or else!!

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